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Don't Take It Too Personally

Updated: Dec 15, 2020

"Before we can see people as they really are,we

have to stop seeing them as we are." - Anais Nin


A defiled mind is a defiled lens to look at people through.

The degree to which an adult takes things too personally is a very reliable indicator of their maturity and general mental / emotional health. It is also the number one saboteur of relationships in marriage, workplace, family and friendship.


While children are excellent recorders of their lives, they are poor interpreters. They will therefore

continue to take everything personally until they have learnt the skill of contextualisation and completed

the process of individuation, a process that many never finish. All sorts of negative repercussions for

parenting, pastoring, employing and trust will continue as relationships in marriage, family, workplace

and friendship are marked by frequent misconstrual.


Truth Coach Reassurances

The following Truth Coaches are designed to rapidly heal the sensitive soul and educate them to the

realisation that everyone has and works to their own agendas.


The Truth Coach is a superior expression of wisdom and reality used to cognitively dispute, and silently or audibly displace one’s habitual wrong thinking and earlier misbeliefs (lies). A new or reassuring insight to comfort, encourage and annul negative thinking patterns and coach oneself through temptation or pain. My (David Riddell’s) concept for Jesus’ use of the phrase “it is written”. A cause for deep persuasion, not to be confused with positive thinking or cliches or merely quoting random scripture. The quality of Truth Coaches found during the counselling session largely determines the client's future success or failure in the area of consideration.


1. I don’t have to assume that it’s all about me, or meant for me.

2. ‘Big’ people can be cracked mirrors also – and I need to allow for their hidden agenda and

contextualise their comments.

3. Their jibes at me are just expressions of their own pain. It’s called ‘dumping’.

4. Did I really disappoint, or are their expectations just unrealistic?

5. They can have a bad day too. It’s OK to just sit tight and wait for the tantrum to pass.

6. They can only dump on me if I choose to wear it.

7. Jesus in me isn’t on the defensive here - so why should I be?

8. ‘Thin-skinned’ is a characteristic of the deeply insecure, and that’s not how I want to be.

9. I will not give anyone the right to define me, and even to describe me - they first have to earn my trust.

10. I declare myself to be ‘enough’ – to be acceptable, regardless.


With gratitude to David Riddell & Living Wisdom for this contribution.

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